Who me??

Had a moment the other day when I had a few things in my head that needed doing e.g. need to buy some milk, need to make some 'for sale' signs to sell the bike, and a few other things. So I wouldn't forget what needed doing I reached for a pencil to write a L _ _ T. That's right - the four letter word starting with L and ending in T. I am quite familiar with doing these back home. I usually write one out every day - never complete what I set out to do and transfer the non-completed 'to do's' onto the new day, ad infinitum until I end up with an impossible list of tasks. Then mysteriously I'd lose what I wrote down and try to remember what I was supposed to be doing. (For all my digital existence I've never found a computerised version of the above particularly helpful).

As I went to pick up the pencil I checked myself, realising this would be the first list I have written in over 8 months. At that point I decided there weren't too many things to remember really and so I could live another couple of weeks without a list in my life. That gives you a bit of a window into the degree to which I have so totally wound down from the 'real world'. Generally there has been one thing to think about each day and I have been able to give myself physically, emotionally and spiritually to those one or two things. A simple existence indeed.

So how will I re enter the world of multi-tasking and demands of various kinds?? By God's help and grace is the short answer.

Another story. Last week I thought 'wouldn't it be great to get the other pastors who are on sabbatical together at Regent and have a time of swapping stories, encourage each other and pray for each other.' So I asked the powers at be whether they ever schedule such a time during Summer School. The answer was 'no' - but that's a 'great idea' and 'would you be able to facilitate that?'(!) "Who me??" was my heart response. I was just thinking it was a good idea. I wasn't offering to "do" anything. But long story short, we had the get together today. I did facilitate it and the sky didn't fall in. It confirmed to me what I had begun to think and it's along the lines of 'I'm actually ready to go back home. I really want to put my hand to the plow. I really want to be involved in peoples lives. I really like seeing people encouraged and grow.' To which you might reply, 'just as well!'

This is all to say - with 2 weeks left of sabbatical/leave I am feeling filled up and overflowing, encouraged and strengthened - yea verily I would say unto you - even to write a list if need be! The sabbatical has done it's 'perfect work' and although not returning with a blueprint for how life and ministry should all be happening, there is a renewed sense of groundedness, of 'just being' in connection with God which I know will guide my 'doings' in a fresh way.

mmm, now what was I supposed to do after writing my blog up????

Amazing Grace

This last week I have been doing a course in 'Contemplative Listening'. It's been a great time to stop (again) and listen to God, listen to my own heart and listen to whats going on around me, in discussions, in readings, in everyday experiences. With only two weeks left of leave/sabbatical, having this particular focus feels like I am right where I need to be right now. Here's an excerpt from my journal to give you the feel:

"Today was a day bathed in Grace...Amazing Grace. I received my listening exercise paper back. The professor had pencilled the words 'Amazing Grace' in the margin. I thought about that during the day. I thought about how gracious God has been in reaching into my life, saving me, and keeping me close to him throughout the years. I thought about his grace some more tonight as I prayed for my kids and as I walked down the beach to see tonight's sunset. I thanked God for his grace and prayed for his amazing grace to envelope them.

I found my usual log to sit on, which was about 20 meters away from a young man with a ukulele. No sooner had I sat down, thankful for the beautiful sunset, when he started to play and sing! The song?? Amazing Grace. He only played one song and that was it - all 4 verses. He had a very stilted style as if he was learning, which kind of added to the moment - God's grace being played through weakness. He then put the ukulele down, lit up a cigarette and closed his eyes. He stayed that way for a good long while.

Meanwhile I watched the sun fully set, the transition from yellows, to blood red, to a dark orange. I thought some more about God's amazing grace and about how God reached into Saul/Paul's life in such a transforming way. I thought 'this young man has got no idea how that Song has blessed me.'

As I got up to leave I called out, 'Thanks for the song'. He responded by apologizing, 'I'm sorry about that, I'm just learning'. 'No, I'm serious. Thankyou. I really enjoyed it' Oh, thanks' he says, 'I just bought the ukelele today. It's my first song'. I added, 'Well, Amazing Grace, that's a great place to start.' 'Thanks' he said again before he added, 'Enjoy the rest of your night'. 'Thankyou. You too' and I walked back up the hill."

Just Us!

It’s time for a blog – and I can think of no better topic at this point in the journey than to talk about the greatest natural wonder God has given me (…violins please….) that’s right, my incredible lifelong partner KF! What a gift it has been to share not only the last 25 years, but especially the last 3 months in enjoying her friendship away from all the demands of home, city and combined work lives.

When I first started planning my sabbatical / leave about 12 months ago I believe God gave me some special guidance in putting it together. I’m not suggesting it as ‘the’ model to follow but it has been so suited for our needs and situation, and it was this: – “bless your family, bless yourself and bless your wife.” And so I set upon planning the time in three chapters – a family holiday in NZ, 10 weeks of 3 day retreats for me and an extended time away just with Kath. Now of course I was blessed in all three chapters (and in this final chapter I’ve needed to complete several units of study), but the focus in each stage has followed the plan that was set.

Together we have skied, studied the New Testament together, prayed together, holidayed in the Canadian Rockies, gone on a cruise to Alaska and spent 4 weeks touring the North West of USA. We have missed our kids of course (do I need to say that?), but discovering each other again and our identity as a married couple, not just as parents of the same children, has been so important, significant and refreshing. I guess it has felt a bit like being ‘empty nesters’ (which we’re not yet!) realizing, ‘well, it’s just us’. These 3 months of ‘just us’ has given us a glimpse of what that time will be like, but more importantly I believe, it has laid for us a new and fresh foundation on which we can build for the NEXT 25 years.

One of the conversations we had on one of our longer journeys (through several US states) was ‘what have we learnt about one another that we didn’t really know before?’ That was interesting. Try spending 4 weeks in a home 1 metre x 3 metres. You get the picture! Another conversation topic was, ‘what have we experienced together that we want to take with us as regular practice when we return home?’ We understand that life is not lived in holiday mode but in the humdrum AND craziness of life, but there are principles and practices which we are jealous to see continue.

We trust that being away from our gorgeous, near adult, teenagers, has been a blessing for them as well as they have been able to develop areas of independence and growth that are less easily formed when mum and dad are around.

Those who know Kathy, know her boundless enthusiasm, zest for life, and abounding joy at both the ‘simple’ and the ‘staggering’. She has blessed everyone she has met. I met her getting off the bus the other day – she’d done a day tour through Yellowstone because I needed to spend a day studying for an exam - it was hugs all round and photographs with her new friends before we left! I could tell so many stories like that and will miss her when she leaves this week to return home 10 days earlier. She has been such an encourager and supporter to me in doing my studies and is so happy just to ride off on her bike somewhere to fill in her ‘alone’ time, which I have tried to keep to a minimum by the way J

‘He who finds a wife finds a good thing’ the Old Book says, which must mean that he who finds a good wife finds a very good thing!

Once again we are so thankful to our family and church community who have made it possible for us to experience ‘Chapter 3’ together. It will come to a close on Thursday then there will be 3 weeks of personal ‘epilogue’ before I am back ‘in the saddle’. Those 3 weeks will be an important time of ‘decompression’ and orientation as I prepare to re enter. I’ll let you know how I go with that via this blog over the next couple of weeks. Meanwhile, over and out, and thankyou AGAIN for your prayers, love and support which have meant so much to the both of us.

Ian (and Kathy!) x